Among the variety of skills that an individual is expected to become proficient in during their development, few are as important as the ability to effectively communicate. Through communication, we are able to interface with the world around us, creating a collective consciousness that is far more effective at navigating the complicated reality in which we exist.
Acceptable communication abilities can be the deciding factor between competence and deficiency in a number of areas of life, such as social and interpersonal skills, vocation and education, family life, and other realms. Despite the common misconception that we cannot change the way we are, practicing awareness of our preferred communication style and taking steps to adjust our habits of interaction can have a profound impact on day-to-day life and radically alter the ways in which we cooperate with those around us.
Understanding Communication Styles
In general, communication styles fall into 3 broad categories: passive, aggressive, and assertive.
1. Passive Communicators
Passive communicators, as the name would suggest, tend to have a less active input in their dialogue with others. In many cases, body language often gives away the passive communicator, as they tend to exhibit guarded body language, as well as maintaining poor eye contact and speaking in a soft tone of voice. Additionally, this type of communicator tends to avoid confrontation and apologize for unnecessary reasons. In many ways, they put the needs of others ahead of their own needs, which can lead to them being taken advantage of.
2. Aggressive Communicators
Aggressive communicators, on the other hand, tend to fall on the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of style. These individuals can be identified by their tendency to interrupt others, speak at a loud volume, or take on an overbearing tone while interacting. Further, they often are disrespectful to the needs of others and often lack the ability to establish compromise through communication. Conversely to passive communicators, people who fit in this category often are the types who attempt to take advantage of others, especially by dominating interaction, and criticizing and humiliating others.
3. Assertive Communicators
Assertive communicators fall somewhere in the middle between aggressive and passive. With this variety, one often reveals confidence in their tone of voice and body language, as well as good eye contact. These individuals will consider their own experience, but they have the capacity to understand and evaluate the feelings and needs of others.
Which Type of Communication Style is Best?
Surprisingly, there may be times where being a passive or even aggressive communication is necessary, such as in times where safety is involved. However, in most cases, assertive communication is key to accomplishing mutual goals between speaker and listener.
How Can I Become More Assertive?
- To work on becoming more assertive, focus on your tone and body language. Keeping a steady calm tone and attentive body language lets the other person know you are listening.
- Secondly, stand up for your rights in a way that’s firm and direct without over-explaining or becoming demanding.
- Lastly, look for solutions including compromises and be willing to work with the other person to find mutually beneficial outcomes.
If you tend to be passive, this may feel aggressive at first; similarly, if you tend to be aggressive, this style may feel passive. However, with practice and awareness, you can find balance and enjoy the benefits of a healthier communication style.
