Codependency is a cluster of behaviors that can lead to issues with relationships and mental health. An individual doesn’t necessarily have to identify with all of these behaviors, as any of them can be challenging to manage without therapeutic support.
Examples of Codependent Behavior
- Excessive reliance on others, especially for emotional needs
- Relying on what others think to determine your own self-worth
- Taking on the responsibilities of others as their own
- Difficulty with boundary setting and separation
- Engaging in relationships that are “enmeshed” or “fused” (meaning the individual loses their identity)
- Investment in the ability to control oneself and others despite serious consequences
- Separation anxiety and/or depression; fear of abandonment
- Enabling negative or unhealthy behavior of others in an attempt to protect them
- Often feels a sense of hypervigilance (expressed as “waiting for the other shoe to drop”)
Codependency in Relationships
Codependency can show up in your romantic relationships and/or family relationships. Individuals who struggle with codependency often have a partner or family member who suffers from mental illness or addiction. This is because codependency is often an adaptive behavior for coping with a loved one who is unwell. Sometimes, these behavior patterns can be passed on through generations without conscious awareness.
Say No to Negative Self-Judgment
When considering if you identify with this cluster of behaviors, it is important to avoid negative self-judgment. The behaviors often stem from a loving desire to care for others, which isn’t necessarily bad. However, it can cause problems in conflict and affect one’s ability to feel secure and confident. We want to recognize these behaviors and increase our awareness to address codependency effectively.
